Improved Recount term 4

Kia ora

Here is the recount I wrote  for an Asttle writing test in Week 4.  Our teacher marked all our recounts and gave us our scores. Mine came out at Level 2a which is just below the end of year standard for Year Five. I got the best marks for sentence structure and punctuation, and the lowest marks for spelling. 

Then we helped each other improve them by reading each other’s recount and talking about them. We also used Revision Assistant to help edit each other’s story and Mrs B added some notes as well. Everyone in our room likes Revision Assistant because it’s easy to understand the marks/ notes that it puts on your writing and so it’s quick for us to go and do the fix-ups. I hope someone will give me some feedback.

Ka kite ano

On Sunday morning I yelled “Get up! Get up Papa! We need to check our nets because we left them overnight.” So we drove off to go get them.

“Woohoo!!!”  I yelled.We went drifting around the corner. EEER!!! My papa slammed on the brakes.

We got there went straight to the first net and There was about 20 eels in this net. When we pulled in the net we saw some holes out of which they could escape. We crossed the river to get the other net and there were no holes in that net. There were about 30 eels in this net. We got one humongous eel it was the  biggest eel and it was as fat as a baby hippo.

We got home gutted the eels and then salted and soy sauced them ready to put them in the smoke house.

It was pretty good. We got about 50 eels. I was happy about that. The eels tasted nice.

My Thinglink of Greats' and Grands' Day.

Here is the first Thinglink I have ever made. The photo was taken on Greats' and Grands' Day when my whanau came to visit my classroom. They thought my work on my Chromebook was amazing.

Me and Lukas' fish bone diagram about the red panda

Kia ora

This is an activity we did when we were learning how to find facts and put them in the right box on  a fishbone diagram. We are learning how to write a report about an animal which is native to China. We are learning about China at the moment because last week was Chinese language week and one of our classmates, Braeden, is half Chinese. I decided to put a photo of my animal on the background of my fishbone diagram and publish it just like that.

Something I think I have done well  is making sure I got the right facts in the right box.

Next time I think I could improve by writing more notes and fewer sentences. I need to just write down key words not whole sentences when I am making notes.

Ka kite ano

Mt Ruapehu drawing

Kia ora

This is an activity we did when we were learning how to use Google Drawings.

Something I think I have done well  is using a combination of shapes, pictures and text.

Next time I think I could improve on is making the deadline.

Ka kite ano

Piper's lodge thank you letter

Kia ora

This is an activity we did when we were learning how to write thank you letter's

Something I think I have done well  is doing in inside the deadline, but

next time I think I could improve by putting gems in their.

Ka kite ano

8 September 2016

Room 9

Ohaeawai Primary

Tennyson Street

Ohaeawai 0472

Dear Piper’s Lodge

I am writing to thank you very much for looking after us so well during our stay last week.

I really enjoyed the whole week because your beds were comfy, your bathrooms were clean and fresh and your meals were delicious. My favourite meal was the fish and chips.

I hope I can come and stay at Piper’s Lodge again, one day.

Yours sincerely

Freedom Haare.

Thank you letter

Kia ora

This is an activity we did when we were learning how to write a thank you letter.

Something I think I have done well is writting it by myself. but

next time I think I could improve by writting a bit more.

Ka kite ano

7 September 2016

Room 9

Ohaeawai Primary

Tennyson Street

Ohaeawai 0472

Dear Mum and Dad

I am writing to thank you very much for letting  me last go on the ski trip last week.

I really enjoyed the whole week and skiing was amazing. My favourite part was having a rockwall race with Lukas.

I would really love to go skiing again, one day.

Love from Freedom

Ski Trip 2016

Kia ora

Kia ora

This is an activity we did when we were learning how to ski

Something I think I have done well  is skiing down Mt Ruapehu but

next time I think I could improve on stopping.

This is how to stop.

Ka kite ano